45 Icebreaker Questions for Talking to Strangers (That Aren't Boring)

We've all been there: the chat starts, someone types "hey, how are you?", the answer is "good, you?", and that's the end of it. It's not that you have nothing to say. It's that the usual questions give the other person nothing to hold on to.

The good news is that science is on your side. In a 2018 study published in Psychological Science, researchers had strangers talk for five minutes and then asked each of them how much they liked the other — and how much they thought they were liked. People consistently liked their partner more than they believed their partner liked them. The researchers called it the liking gap. In plain words: you're probably doing better than you think.

Below are 45 questions grouped by stage of the conversation. No need to memorize them — pick two or three that feel like you.

Why some questions work and others don't

A good question has three things going for it:

• It's open-ended. "Do you like music?" gets a yes or no. "What song are you completely sick of hearing?" gets a story.
• It's light. Early on, nobody wants to talk about work, exes or politics.
• It invites you to answer too. The best conversations are an exchange, not an interview. Ask, listen, then share your own take.

To break the ice (the first few minutes)

1. What's the best thing that's happened to you this week?
2. If today were a holiday, what would you be doing right now?
3. Which app do you open the most, apart from the obvious ones?
4. Are you an early sleeper or a night owl?
5. What food could you eat every day without getting tired of it?
6. Is there a song stuck in your head today?
7. Coffee, tea, or neither?
8. What's the last thing that made you genuinely laugh?
9. Beach, mountains, or couch?
10. If you could learn any skill overnight, what would it be?

To get past small talk (once it's flowing)

11. What's your guilty pleasure show, movie or song?
12. What's a place you've visited and want to go back to?
13. Is there a hobby you started and dropped? Why?
14. What's an unpopular opinion you'll happily defend?
15. What did you do as a kid that you'd find weird today?
16. What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
17. If you had a full day with zero obligations, what would it look like?
18. Which movie have you watched more times than you'd like to admit?
19. Do you have a completely useless talent? (Everyone has one.)
20. What smell reminds you of your childhood?

To actually get to know someone

21. What's been making you excited to wake up lately?
22. What small decision ended up changing a lot in your life?
23. What are you proud of but rarely talk about?
24. What do you like most about the city where you live?
25. Is there a goal you're chasing right now?
26. What kind of person do you admire?
27. What do you wish people knew about you right away?
28. When was the last time you did something for the first time?
29. If you could switch careers tomorrow with no risk, would you?
30. What would a perfect day include, from start to finish?

Fun and creative (for when you run out of things to say)

31. If you were a TV character, what would your catchphrase be?
32. What would your imaginary band be called?
33. Would you rather fly or be invisible? What would you do first?
34. If your life had a soundtrack, what would be playing right now?
35. Which animal matches your personality best?
36. If you opened a restaurant, what would the signature dish be?
37. What random object would you take to a desert island?
38. What totally useless superpower would you like to have?
39. If you could have dinner with anyone, living or not, who would it be?
40. What would the title of your autobiography be?

To wrap up well (and maybe pick it up later)

41. What was your favorite part of this conversation?
42. Any show, book or song you'd recommend to me?
43. What topic haven't we covered that you'd like to talk about?
44. Do you often chat with new people like this?
45. Want to pick this up again another day?

What to avoid in the first messages

• Asking for personal details. Full name, exact city, Instagram, phone number. On an anonymous chat, that's not just pushy — it's unsafe. If a friendship grows, that comes with time.
• Rapid-fire interview questions. Five questions in a row without sharing anything about yourself feels like filling out a form.
• Comments about looks. They push away more people than they attract.
• One-word replies. If someone put effort into a question, give a short story back.

Where to practice

The easiest way to get better is to talk more — with different people. On Nimo Chat, you tap search and get matched with someone who's online right now, with no sign-up, no email and no phone number. You can pick up to five interests to land with people who like the same things, and if nobody's online, you can leave a line on the Board and whoever relates can start a chat with you.

And if the conversation is good? Tap Add friend and, if they accept, it won't disappear when the chat ends.